Fantasy letter to the Prime Minister
“Dear Mr Harper, I’ve been thinking about this long and hard ever since seeing how my parents have been treated and my idea is this: Without changing anything except their location let’s just switch old-age pensioner with prison inmates. Simply put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in nursing homes. That way the pensioners would have aided access to showers, hobbies and walks. They’d receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental check-ups, medical treatment and wheelchairs and be given a daily monetary allowance, instead of paying it out.
“They would have constant video monitoring so they could be helped instantly if they fell or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them. A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their personalised meals to their cell. They could have family visits in a suite built for that purpose, access to a library, spiritual counselling and a pool and education. Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJs and legal aid would be free on request. There would be private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise yard. Each senior could have access to a PC, a TV, radio and phone calls. There would be a board of directors to hear complaints and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
“Meanwhile, the criminals would get cold, inedible food, be left all alone, unwashed and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, living in a tiny room and charged $2500 per month with no hope of ever getting out.”